Pick your zombie-fighting team

Last week we posed the question I’m sure you’ve always wanted to answer in a public forum: “Who do you want on your team when it comes to fighting zombies and surviving in a post-apocalyptic Brisbane?”

We also asked the question on Facebook, hoping to amass a list of zombie-fighting archetypes. Sure enough, we have had some excellent suggestions. Here’s the poll as it currently stands, with the most popular options at the top:

  • Chuck Norris for fighting skills and bloodnut badassery
  • The geek with an in-depth knowledge of zombie lore and an extensive Doctor Who collection
  • An architect with specialist zombie fortress skills
  • Bear Grylls for survival skills and inventiveness with food
  • Sir David Attenborough to put it all in perspective
  • A Nurse/Ambo with extensive first aid kit
  • A quiet team player who won’t undermine his/her fellow besieged survivors
  • Barnaby Joyce – throw him to the Zombies and starve them out
  • Dr. Phil for team building and crisis management
  • Milla Jovovich – circa Resident Evil Apocalypse
  • An Indigenous elder for local knowledge and wisdom
  • Anyone with a badass leather jacket. I intend to survive in style.
  • A hot babe wearing tight shorts and a machine gun leg
  • Simon Pegg circa Shaun of the Dead
  • No one. You prefer lone ranger style.
  • The convicted murderer with a shady past and a heart of gold.
  • A hot babe wearing tight shorts for aesthetic appeal and possible love interest
  • Zombies aren’t real. I pray for your mental health.
  • John Malkovich
  • Doctor Strangelove for his excellent post apocalyptic repopulation program
  • Video Game Champ who spent years battling Zombies already!
  • Zombies aren’t real!!!
Unsurprisingly, Chuck Norris is dominating. But the geeks are also polling well, which is nice to see. Also heartening: voters prioritising things like first aid, team building and fortress-building skills over people who look good in tight shorts. And surely if you’re picking a team to survive a zombie attack, it would not be very helpful having someone on the team who doesn’t believe in zombies. Then again, a sacrificial lamb could come in handy in a crisis.

What are you waiting for? Get onto Facebook and have your vote – or add your own idea. But make sure you do it by Monday, before the next stage of the zombie climate apocalypse will be announced…

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